Left To Their Own Devices
by BlackJack7
Summary: Even the best laid out plans can go awry. Of course, best has never been a word used for Ucchi's plans especially when Shin leaves Ucchi and the boys to their own devices. Shinkumi if you squint really really hard. Manga based.
1. Drive In

_**A/N**_: I wrote this chapter to distract me from _Growing Up Yakuza's_ childhood musings. Probably a 2-shot though I might write more if inspiration hits me. Each chapter features a random moment with the boys and one of their crazy plans. Since it is a distraction piece, next update will revolve around my need for "slightly more grown-up musings".

Disclaimer: Gokusen isn't mine but this story is.

* * *

**Drive In**

Sawada Shin was the brains behind the brawns. The four boys knew this, which was the reason why they ran all their plans through him. It was true that on occassion they had to convince him to try out one of their ideas. It was also true that once he conceded he was the one fine tuning it. Sometimes all it needed was a little nudge here. Other times redirection was in order. And most times a complete overhaul was necessary in order to make the plan effective.

Still there were times when he wanted no part in their plans. On these occasions, he simply checked the potential for disaster associated with these plans. If he deemed his four friends wouldn't get into any _serious _trouble then he left them to their own devices. _'They'd learn eventually_', he thought.

However, not all of their wild schemes were brought to Shin's attention. Shin, of course, would worry once he got wind of these schemes. There was a good reason for this. On average, most plans the four boys tried executing without the help of their fearless leader ended in failure.

This time the plan consisted on trying to get _those two together_. It had been awhile since the four boys took a crack at it. Of course, all of this was instigated by Ucchi whose fertile mind was quick to come up with the most ludicrous plans.

"We go to the drive-in and we force 'em to sit together, then we leave half-way thru the movie." Ucchi's eyes sparkled with excitement.

"That's stupid! Why do we hafta leave half-way thru the movie?" Minami didn't want to hear another one of Ucchi's half-baked plans.

"Yeah. If I start seeing a movie I wanna finish it!" Kuma said not wanting to waste good money he could be spending on food.

"Dickwads, that ain't the point." Noda said knocking Kuma and Minami upside the head. "The point is that we don't hafta go, we can say we're goin' and cancel at the last minute." Noda said trying his best to explain Ucchi's plan.

"No, that's not the point. The point is we hafta force 'em to sit together." Ucchi said emphatically. His left fist hit the palm of his right hand like a gavel.

"Of course they'll sit together. Whaddaya think Yankumi's gonna sit in the back while Shin is in front?" Minami looked at Ucchi a little bit irritated by his friend's idiocy.

"Uh-huh." Noda smirked. "I'm still waiting to hear what's so great about _this _plan."

"It's a drive-in!" Ucchi said exasperated as if it was obvious. "Who watches the movie at a drive-in?"

"Lots of people!" The three boys cried in unison. This made Ucchi think. He didn't like it when there were kinks in his plans. The problem with Ucchi was that he usually spent most of his time convincing the others that the kinks they saw were a figment of their own imagination. However, as hard as he tried, there was no way around this one. He had to concede.

"If they just watch the movie, it will be all for nothing." Ucchi reflected aloud. "Maybe we can help things move along." Ucchi pondered as his right index and thumb stroked nonexistent facial hair.

"I don't know about this. Do you remember last time? I'm not running laps around the school again if anything goes wrong." Ucchi purposedly ignored his friend's protest as the gears of his brain turned in that old familiar way that got them into so much trouble.

"Hmm. We can get them to see... something scary. When she is trembling with fear she'll hold onto Shin..." He proceeded to demonstrate on Noda who shoved his friend away from him. Ucchi brushed aside his friend's objection and added "It's the perfect opportunity for Shin to make his move." As misguided as he may be, Ucchi was relentless in the pursuit of his friend's best interest.

"Oi! Does Shin even have a move? Considering he's never been interested in any girl before and that date he had..."

"Shuddup! Of course he does! We're talkin' 'bout Shin here." Kuma defended his red-haired friend.

"I'm sorry to dump on the plan but it ain't gonna work"

"Why's that?"

"None of us have a car!" Ucchi didn't waver in the face of pesky details.

"No problem, we only need to _borrow_ one. Who knows how to hot-wire a car?" Ucchi yelled raising a hand in the air.

-o-

And so it was that in the dead of night, four boys were seen stealthily scouting the streets looking to _borrow_ a car. Furtive glances at his counterparts confirmed Kuma's suspicions. They were uneasy. It wasn't like it was the first time one of Ucchi's so called plans had the potential to blow up in their faces. In fact, it seemed to be a requirement for most of Ucchi's plans. And sure, it wasn't like they were aversed to _borrowing _things. Kuma himself _borrowed_ a scooter from one student sometime ago. He remembered threatening the guy who was so scared he almost peed his pants before giving him the keys. Kuma had to muffle a snicker. Sure, he returned the scooter, albeit six months later. _'That was a sweet ride'_ Kuma thought almost dreamily. _'Good times...' _He nodded. _'Good times...' _He brandished a silly grin before his uneasiness intruded. His brow furrowed.

_"I don't know about this. Are ya sure ya know how to hot-wire a car?"_

_"Of course, I asked my uncle. Here, I wrote it all down."_ Ucchi whispered waving a little piece of paper in his hand.

_"Just what we need a croqui on how to hot-wire-a-car!"_ Noda rolled his eyes. Minami shook his head.

_"Anyway, what do you guys think about this car?"_ Minami leaned on the hood of the car only to be welcomed by the car's blaring alarm.

**BEEP BEEP**"Fuc"**BEEP**"F"**BEEP BEEP**"ck"**BEEP BEEP**"Shit!"**BEEP BEEP**"Ruu"**BEEP BEEP**"uunn!!!"**BEEP BEEP BEEP**

The irritated owner stepped out to check on his car only to catch a brief glimpse of four boys running away. The owner silenced the alarm while assuring the groggy woman standing beside him in a satin robe that it had only been some damn kids playing a prank.

Several blocks away, four out of breath boys panted trying to draw in enough air.

"Crap!"_(pant) _"How are we gonna" _(pant)_ "deal with that?" _(pant)_

"I don't wanna" _(pant)_ "hafta do that again." _(pant)_

"Let's just go home!" _(pant)_

"Hey"_(pant)_ "we're doin' this for Shin!"

Noda wanted to knock Ucchi on the back of the head but decided against it. His need for air was more pressing at the moment. He gulped trying to calm his breathing before replying, "We're gonna go to jail for Shin?!"

"No. I'm telling ya guys, this is fool proof!" said Ucchi with a self-satisfied grin, waving again the little piece of paper.

"Lemme see that!" Kuma snatched the piece of paper from Ucchi's hand. "Man! How're we gonna read this? I can't even make out what you wrote." Kuma squinted trying to make out the instructions.

"Lemme try." Minami snatched the paper from Kuma. "Geez Ucchi! You wrote it in pencil and your greasy fingers smudged it out. What are we gonna do now?!" Unbeknownst to them, a woman had approached them.

"What are you trying to do?" said Yankumi appearing out of nowhere, as usual.

The four boys just stood there stupefied. In his daze, Minami dropped Ucchi's croqui which drifted gently towards Yankumi. Unfortunately for the boys, Yankumi caught it as it passed by her. Amusement surfaced to her features as she read the instructions.

"Hmm... I see... Is this what you were trying to do?" She waved the piece of paper which she held between two fingers like a cigarette while the other hand rested on her waist, a lopsided smirk on her face.

Bracing themselves for a reprimand they just stared at her. Instead of a reprimand, they were greeted with Yakuza101 on how to hot-wire-a-car.

"First of all you need to make sure the car doesn't have one of those touch alarms. It is not much of a problem because most owners set it to a very sensitive setting which will be to your advantage. This means if it goes off you just continue walking as if it went off because you passed too close to the car." She said strolling away as a demonstration. The boys nodded at that still flummoxed at their teacher giving them this kind of lesson.

"Second you want an easy mark so you look for a car whose doors are unlocked or their windows are down. Of course, if you can find one with the keys inside that would be better but that is unlikely in this neighborhood." She looked around the neighborhood as if to confirm her last statement. The boys just stood there jaws agape openly gawking at her.

"Now, if you're using it as a getaway car, you need to make sure to first disengage the steering lock." With a puzzled look on their faces, the boys mouthed to each other _"getaway car?"_

_"Well, it's a little more involved than I make it sound"_, she muttered more to herself than the boys.

The teacher pressed on oblivious to her students' dumbstruck expressions. "You don't want the steering wheel locking up on you...", she trailed off as she finally noticed her students' odd behavior.

She fixed her attention on them and waited. Their mouths opened as if to say something only to close a few seconds later when no clear thought came forth. This process was repeated several times with blinking eyes as their brains _tilted_ like an old-fashioned pinball machine. Realizing she was about to blow her cover, Kumiko gave her typical nervous laugh.

"Ah... hehehe... Well, I... had this ex-boyfriend who was... a bit on the dangerous side. Hehehe..." She rubbed the back of her head with her right hand while inwardly checking if the explanation sounded believable. "Anyway", she said trying to deflect the attention away from her, "Why do you want to steal a car?" A reprimand was out of the question after she had started given them advice on how to go about the task.

"We were not gonna steal nothing. We were just gonna BORROW" Ucchi defended himself.

"_Borrow_, then." Yankumi corrected herself emphasizing the Borrow with a smirk.

"Er..." They looked at each other.

"Well, we wanted to go to the drive-in." Ucchi said finally, unsure if it was a good enough reason.

"Why don't you just go to the cinema? You don't need a car for that." Yankumi offered

". . . . . . ."

They looked at each other again. An uncomfortable pregnant pause wafted in the air.

"They are not showing the movie we wanna see in the cinema" said Kuma inciting a bunch of yeah's and several pats on the back at his clever comeback.

"We would have invited you", Minami added.

"You were gonna invite me to go out on a STOLEN CAR." She looked at them in disbelief.

_**"BORROWED!"**_ The four boys chorused feeling their dignity impugn.

"Fine, fiiiine." She said waving her hand dismissively. "What movie did you guys wanna see?"

". . . . . . ."

None of them knew what was playing at the drive-in. Even less what was playing at the drive-in that was not playing at the cinema. Ucchi broke the silence by saying, "It doesn't matter now. We got no car."

Yankumi thought for awhile. OK, stealing a car is wrong but it wasn't like they were trying to sell it for parts or anything like that. In its own twisted way, it was innocent... even sort of cute but then again Yankumi was a little twisted herself.

"You know you shouldn't be stea- er... _borrowing_ cars."

"Yeah, whatever. Tell it to someone who cares." Noda was peeved at having been caught by Yankumi. He wasn't sure why he even agreed to follow Ucchi's plan. He supposed it was loyalty or maybe he just had a loose screw. Whatever it was, there was no way of getting out of it. Of course, this brings us back to the look Yankumi was giving the four boys. Her yakuza side threatening to surface and teach them a _little lesson _they would not soon forget. The four boys noticing her sinister countenance quickly took two steps back as they shook their hands in front of them with widened eyes.

"OK, OK... not a good thing." Noda cursed himself for triggering Yankumi's _devil_ side.

_"Riiiiight. Borrowing cars baaaaddd."_ The rest of the boys muttered. With that, her anger abated slightly and she continued what she was saying.

"If you were really going to invite me and you really wanted to go to this movie, I can borrow a car. And I mean borrow in the true sense of the word." Yankumi announced. The four boys looked at each other smiling. She had to admit it was endearing to see them so delighted at the prospect of going to a simple drive-in. _'My sweet students',_ she thought. Still, in the back of her mind, she found something odd about their smiling faces but she could not really put her finger on what it was that bothered her.

"When can you get it?"

"Tomorrow"

"Great! Tomorrow is Friday. Let's talk about the details at school. Make sure it can fit six people. Later!" Ucchi waved

"Hey! Hold on! Why six people? We are only five!"

"We're inviting Shin also." Minami added as a matter of fact leaving a very stunned Yankumi on the sidewalk. That strange feeling came back again. Something was definitely going on.

Dismissing the thought she pondered whether she could get away with bringing the _family car_ to the drive-in. She decided against it. After all, a large flashy black Cadillac is a dead giveaway of the yakuza. She definitely did not want to attract attention or pique her students' interest. She'd have to talk with Wakamatsu's wife to see if she could borrow her car.

-o-

The night of the drive-in came. A sparkly-eyed Ucchi and three expectant boys watched closely the two seated in the front seats. However, as the movie progressed, the four boys in the back seat found themselves growing tired of Yankumi's play by play commentary on how stupid these people were. A series of groans escaped their lips as they saw Yankumi unfazed by all the killings. The red-haired boy used to his teacher's antics had dismissed her actions as normal. Amongst themselves the four boys murmured while Yankumi's running commentaries blared on.

_"What are we gonna do?"_

_"I know. This movie is freakin' me out. But look at Yankumi, she might as well be watchin' a friggin' Disney movie."_

"OH, MAN! WHAT AN IDIOT? See? This wouldn't be happening in Wife of Yakuza!" She said to all and no one in particular. Shin, who was sitting in the front passenger side was amused. The boys in the back rolled their eyes.

_"I'm tellin' ya man! She's not normal! How's Shin gonna make a move?"_

"ORYAAA!!! That's what I'm talking about." She said punching the armrest as one of the would-be victims fought the serial killer. A few seconds later...

"Well, all that excitement and now he's dead." Shin said teasing Yamaguchi. She shrugged in response as she grinned slightly embarassed.

_"Well, that looked promising. They seem to be enjoying themselves."_

_"Let's go get something to eat. Maybe if we leave 'em alone..."_

"WHO THE HELL TAKES A SHOWER WHEN THERE'S A KILLER HUNTING 'EM ONE BY ONE?"

_"You're kidding, right?!"_ Noda raised an eyebrow.

_"Come on, you never know. Let's just try."_ Ucchi, ever the optimist, tried to get his friends onboard.

"What's he doing? Why doesn't he just punch 'im?." And, as she said that she threw a punch in front of her as demonstration. Thus, inadvertently punching the steering wheel and jamming the horn.

**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!**

The boys were startled at the sudden noise. Yankumi quickly got off the car, opened the hood, and yanked something out effectively stopping the horn. She closed the hood to find five pairs of eyes looking at her.

"What?" It was all she could manage to say.

The red-haired boy dropped his head as he tried to suppress his laughter, his right hand placed firmly over his mouth.

"Um... My uncle is... a mech-" She was interrupted by Minami.

"You know what? ...just forget it!" The boys in the back seat, though surprised, had more pressing matters at hand. Ignoring their teacher, they proceded with _Operation Shinkumi_.

"We're gonna get something to eat. You guys want something?"

"Maybe a drink. What 'bout you Sawada?"

"Same here."

The four boys moved to get out of the car.

"Wait, wait! Why do y'all need to go?" She said puzzled.

". . . . . . ." The four boys searched for an excuse. It took a few seconds before someone answered.

"One person can't carry everything!" Ucchi said as if it was obvious, though he mentally slapped himself for taking so long to answer such an obvious response.

"Well, let's see... If 6 of us want drinks and 4 of us get something to-"

"Fuck, Yankumi! Don't turn this into a math problem!" She was taken aback by Noda's response.

"OK, OK... go then." She humored them. She turned her attention back to the screen.

It finally dawned on the red-haired boy their insistence in coming to the drive-in. He had originally declined but they would not hear of it. Grudgingly he accepted the invitation only to be pleasantly surprised that Yamaguchi had provided the car. He had half expected his four friends to come up with some _stupid _plan for getting a car. _'Heavy emphasis on the **stupid **part.'_ He smirked at the thought.

_'I oughta give 'em credit' _He gave them one last glance as they stepped off the car only to be greeted by 4 stupid grins and 8 thumbs up. He slowly closed his eyes as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. _'Er... Maybe not.' _Resigned, he turned his attention back to the screen.

Finally the boys in the back began their trek to the concession stand. They had just taken a few steps when they heard the voice of Yankumi yelling.

**"RUN! YoU frIgGIn' bAsTarDs!"**

And forgetting the woman was talking to the screen, the 4 boys started running. From the rear view mirror, a red-haired boy watched his friends run like thieves caught in the act. He bit his lower lip in an attempt to stifle a laugh.

-o-

At the concession stand, the four boys mentally kicked themselves for their Pavlovian response to Yankumi's voice. An unspoken agreement was forged between the boys: This particular incident will be forgotten and never brought up again.

Ucchi who had brought a pair of binoculars was using them to spy on the couple. The girl was still flailing her arms at the screen while the boy continued watching the movie impassively.

"What the hell is Shin doing?" Kuma said eating the nachos with cheese he had just purchased. Ucchi didn't answer as he continued watching the couple through his binoculars.

"This was a stupid idea." Noda broke the silence tired of waiting for Ucchi's response. He added, "Might as well go back". Two of the boys agreed a bit disheartened at the failure of this plan.

"Hey, did Yankumi just give Shin a look", said Ucchi who had ignored his friends' complaints in favor of studying the couple.

"Lemme see!" Noda snatched Ucchi's binoculars. "Nah! You're seeing things. Besides, Shin looks bored."

"Shin always looks bored! Lemme see." Minami tried to snatch the binoculars from Noda. Noda compromised and they shared the binoculars, each one looking through one of the lenses. "Well, it's hard to tell with Shin"

"Lemme see!" Kuma snatched the binoculars away from both Noda and Minami. Peering through the lenses he watched his red-haired friend carefully. "See, with Shin, you have to look carefully. If you really look at him you'll see... he is actually happy".

"Lemme see!" All three boys said in unison trying to grab the binoculars to themselves. When things were beginning to turn into a fight, Noda tried to be the sensible one.

"Hey, hey, hey! We have to take turns. There is no way we can share. There are three of us, six eyes and only two lenses to divide among us."

Minami and Ucchi looked at each other puzzled for a few seconds and then broke into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Noda said slightly vexed.

"You're doing math." The two boys kept on laughing.

"Whatever..." Noda said annoyed. "Let's just go back to the car."

The couple did not notice their arrival. Minami bent down to give Yankumi her drink.

"Here, Yank- ugh!" Yankumi's nerves being on edge were the reason why as soon as she heard a noise outside her door, she flung a right hand punch through the open window sending Minami to the floor. The drink spilling though the cup was still clutched in his hand.

"Oh, sorry, sorry... Are ya OK?" She leaned out the window giving Shin a good view of her _assets_. Nobody noticed this or the sly smile on Shin's face at said view.

"Th- at was your s-soda." Minami grunted. Ucchi and Noda helped him stand up as they settled in the car. Yankumi sat in her seat completely mortified at hitting her poor, innocent student and a bit embarrassed at her faux pas.

In her heightened state of awareness, Yankumi almost lunged at the sound of approaching footsteps. A quick thinking Shin, seeing Yankumi's muscles tense and noticing Kuma's approaching footsteps, restrained both her hands.

"What happened?" said Kuma who had lagged behind, a large bag of popcorn in one of his hands.

Noda and Ucchi, seeing Shin's hands on Yankumi's gave each other knowing glances. Minami, who was still affected by Yankumi's punch, had totally missed it. He was currently trying really hard not to throw up the hot dog he had just eaten. His face was propped against the rear window in case his efforts proved fruitless.

"It's only Kuma." Shin said to Yankumi soothingly. Directing his attention to Kuma, he said "Yamaguchi accidentally hit Minami causing him to spill her drink. Could you get her another one?" Kuma seeing Shin holding Yankumi's hands smiled and nodded as he left humming a little song. Ucchi was about to open his mouth to say something but Shin's look effectively quelled any urge he might have to speak. Ucchi lowered his head and pursed his lips as Shin let go of her hands.

She felt slightly stupid. Among the kumi her reaction would have been celebrated. Not that she did it on purpose, mind you. It is just a sign of alertness. You have to be like that in order to stay alive in the yakuza. There are too many people trying to get you... However, among non-yakuza... not a good thing to do.

It dawned on her that her job was in more peril from her slips than from actual yakuza dealings. She sighed audibly. _'One of these days I'm gonna get sued for sure' _Had it not been for Sawada she'd have hit Kuma as well. Poor sweet Kuma, who gave her his last piece of bread when he thought she was starving herself to save money to pay back her father's supposed debt to the yakuza. _'They are good guys.' _And without thinking she reached for Shin's hand and squeezed. Sawada was taken by surprise. He looked at her quizzically. A look of gratitude was reflected on her face. He understood and squeezed her hand back as if saying 'Don't worry about it.' Had she been thinking clearly she'd have refrained from such contact. As it was, it just seemed natural. And, as quickly as it started, it ended with her assessing her need to stop beating up her students and him reflecting on the unexpected contact initiated by her.

A stray thought flitted through the back of her mind about how big Shin's hand was compared to hers like a busy buzzing fly. All attempts to mentally swat it failed.

_"See? I told ya it'd work out. Call me General Ucchi!"_

_"Yeah, yeah. Whatever"_ Minami was still recovering from the punch he received all for the sake of getting those two together.

_"The problem is that's all they can do in front of us," _Ucchi whispered more to himself than anyone else.

"Is iT tIMe To bE thInKinG aBoUt THat gIrL wHEn ThERe iS soMeOne TrYiNg tO KILL YA?!"

_"Forget it! That's all they're gonna do even if we're not here,"_ whispered Noda.

Kuma came at this point. Shin looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. She'd tensed up but had managed to control herself. She gratefully accepted the drink and took a sip as Kuma eased into the back seat of the car where his three friends were.

"GRRRRREEAAT. He separated from the group. Ya know he's DEAD now!" Her open hand pointing to the screen.

The four boys in the back just groaned.

* * *

_**A/N**_:  
_1._ Wrote it just because I love the boys and their simple minds and cockamamy ideas._  
2._ For those of you reading "Growing Up Yakuza", you know what this story means... It means ETU will be delayed a bit. _Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa_! (Beats chest with fist and puts head down in shame). BTW it is just latin for_ I'm very sorry._ Actually it means _I'm to blame_ but accepting blame leads to repentance (just in case someone gets literal on me).  
_3._ I didn't do any research on drive-ins in Japan nor on what they'd eat at those drive-ins. 


	2. Rumors

_**A/N**_: As I said before each chapter features a random moment with the boys and one of their crazy plans. Although in this one the plan was not that crazy. Again, this is a distraction piece so next update will revolve around my need for "_slightly _more grown-up musings".

_Warning_: This may be offensive to some people. No disrespect is intended. Also, keep in mind this is **strongly** based on the manga with a bit of _flirting _with the drama. If you haven't read the manga you might not understand the part about Miura-sensei, but (hopefully) you won't be totally lost.

Disclaimer: Gokusen isn't mine but this story is

* * *

**Rumors**

_...On the rooftop_

"I met the most beautiful girl at the market yesterday", said Ucchi with glazed eyes.

"Uh huh... That makes how many _most _beautiful girls?", asked Noda sarcastically

"I think ten this past week", said Kuma mentally counting while eating some cracker jacks.

"Yeah. You know there can only be one holding that title, not ten." Minami said raising an index finger to illustrate his point.

"You fucking idiots! If you don't shuddup I won't tell ya the best part!"

"Fine. Fine" The three said in unison.

"She agreed to go out with me on Friday **if **I bring some of my friends to entertain _her_ friends. Here, I printed the pictures I took of 'em with my cell."

"Girls!", said Minami while he passed the pictures around.

"Count me in!" Kuma managed to say between mouthfuls.

"Alright!" Noda grabbed a picture. It wasn't until the fourth picture was passed around that a thought crossed Noda. "What about Shin? Do you think he'll come?"

They all thought for a second.

"Nah! He won't come."

"Why not?" A female voice was heard.

"Geez, doncha remember?" Noda said engrossed in the picture he had in his hand.

"Yea, the one time he went on a date he was not very happy and the girl was a bit dangerous", said Kuma looking at another picture while grabbing a handful of cracker jacks.

"I see... Well that's not good", replied the female voice while grabbing some cracker jacks from Kuma's box.

At this point the boys froze on the spot as they became aware of the intrusion. Only Ucchi failed to register that the female voice did not belong to the group.

"Besides Shin likes..." Ucchi was interrupted by an elbow that landed hard on his stomach

"Ugh! Why did ya do that for?" Ucchi demanded. Minami pointed at the intruder.

"Shin likes who, Ucchi?" Yankumi asked with interest.

'_Shit! Shit! Shit! What to say? What to say? Don't say her name. Don't say her name.'_ And at that moment he just said the 1st thing that came to his head.

"g-g-guys?!" said Ucchi only aware that at least he did not say Yankumi's name. The three boys were nonplussed by Ucchi's idiotic reply.

_"Nani?"_ They managed to mumble in unison.

"Are you sure? I mean, if that girl was dangerous..." Yankumi trailed off. The memory of a busty girl gaily tiptoed through her mind. That was the time she bumped into him at Tanukibara's Kumichou's sucession ceremony.

"But we've never seen him with another girl...", she said. She remembered she was a bit surprised to see him there on a date. What was even worse was when she told him she would not allow it. _'What was I thinking?... Why was I so upset?'_

The four boys silently watched as she mentally wrangled with herself.

Biting her lower lip, she shook her head as if to erase the event from her memory. She had been ready to punch him out for being on a date. "Tch" She chastised herself.

"Still, I've never seen him looking at a guy with any interest either." She said more to herself than anyone else. She paced around the rooftop. Her right arm folded under her left one while her left hand propped her chin up in contemplative thought. All the while Minami, Noda and Kuma just glared at Ucchi.

"Ucchi don't know what he's talkin' 'bout. Ain't that right?" Noda said.

"Yah", said Kuma. After which he mouthed to Ucchi, _"Fix this before it gets out of hand"_

"Uh, er... yeah... I might be wrong." He fidgeted. "You know what? You're right Yankumi. He's never shown interest in guys either. Maybe he is just not grown up and mature like us to be interested in anyone." He pointed at himself and his three friends who covered their backpedalling friend's ass with three idiotic grins. This, of course, only worked to their disadvantage as it reminded Yankumi of the kumi when they were hiding something.

She cocked a dubious eyebrow at the four boys. This caused Minami to slap Ucchi's head. Shin was going to kill them for sure. If it had been any other woman, Shin would not have cared but to say this to Yankumi was out of the question.

"Hey guys!" Shin said as he entered the rooftop. All eyes rested on him. He sat down on one corner. Eyeing the audience, he opened a can of soda and drank. Each gulp disturbing the silence that had befallen the rooftop. Minami, Noda, and Kuma looked at him horrified. Ucchi looked at him with a guilty expression. Yankumi, on the other hand, looked at him with curiosity. This scene was beginning to worry him.

"What have you guys been talking about?" Shin braced himself for the worst.

"Uh..." Ucchi sweated profusely. "Who's talking?" Ucchi said looking around with arms outstretched, shoulders hiked up in a shrug.

"Yep. Nobody talkin' here." Minami flitted his eyes around the rooftop.

_"Quiet as a mouse."_ Noda muttered while Kuma just resorted to shoving chips into his mouth, seeing as he'd run out of cracker jacks, so that he wouldn't have to say anything.

_'Definitely not good',_ thought Shin. He directed his attention towards Yamaguchi who seemed to be studying him with measured interest.

"Well, Ucchi wants you guys to go meet these girls", said Yankumi still studying Shin.

"Not interested", said Shin.

"...not interested... hmm...", said Yankumi stroking her chin. She narrowed her eyes, mentally examining the likelihood of a gay Shin. She supposed it was possible he was gay but it was not probable. And the more she thought about it the more her thoughts converged on one particular thought: _'He just can't be gay.' _It was this thought that had her wondering why she was so determined to prove to herself that Shin was not gay.

She decided she was being stupid. So, what if he was gay? He was still her student. Shin's sexual orientation had nothing to do with her._ 'Right.' _She thought as if that simple word settled the matter. She sighed and said, "Well, it's time for next period."

Once she closed the door behind her Shin asked, "What was that all about?"

"Er... how should I know?" Noda's voice cracked.

"You know Yankumi, she's weird!" Minami said standing up. Ucchi took this opportunity to sneak out.

"We better get going. Hey, Shin-chan! Are you going to class?", asked Kuma trying to distract Shin.

"Nah! I'll see you during last period. I'm gonna take a nap." He said as he put a racing magazine on his face and replayed the last few minutes.

-o-

_...during last period_

In any given class, on average, the boys only listened to 50 percent of the lecture which explained their poor grades. Today, however, that percentage had dropped to 10 as they clustered their chairs together away from Sawada, as if he had the plague. Forming a huddle they alternately glanced at their fearless leader.

_"You think he suspects?"_ Noda tossed a worried look at Shin who seemed oblivious to their attention.

_"Nah. How's he gonna know?"_ Ucchi, ever the optimist, whispered.

_"I dunno. Shin's pretty smart."_ Kuma pointed out.

_"He may be smart but he's not psychic."_ Ucchi countered.

_"Still he may know something's amiss"_ Minami raised his head from the huddled group. The other 3 boys followed suit.

Out of the corner of his eyes, the red-headed one noticed the 4 boys looking at him from their huddle. Shin couldn't help but stare at this odd behavior.

Shin's gaze was met by 4 nervous smiles which caused Shin to raise a suspicious eyebrow. He felt his emotions bubbling over until they threatened to reach his normally emoteless face. Willing his emotions to simmer down, he decided to wait it out until things elucidated themselves rather than to try to wrestle an explanation out of his 4 friends.

Shin directed his attention to the front of the class were their teacher was talking about violent chemical reactions. _"How ironic"_, Shin muttered sarcastically.

_"In any case, it was only us and Yankumi"_ Ucchi tried reasoning.

_"You don't think Yankumi will tell anyone?"_ Noda wondered in a barely audible tone.

_"Nah. She's not the gossipy type."_ Kuma responded.

_"Yah, that's true"_ Minami agreed.

_"Anyway, just look at him!"_ Ucchi pointed at Shin.

The 4 boys looked at their leader for a few seconds. Shin was lazily resting his right elbow on his desk, his right hand cradling his chin, his eyes drooped as if he was about to fall asleep.

_"Who's gonna believe he's gay?"_ Ucchi added.

_"Uh-huh. Girls fall all over him without him doing a thing"_, whispered Kuma. The other 3 boys nodded in agreement.

_"That's true, he does nothing."_ Minami agreed.

_"Nothing"_ Noda muttered in a conclusive tone.

They fixed their eyes on Shin once more. He had shifted positions and was currently slouching way down in his seat, his bangs draped over his eyes cloaking the direction of his gaze. His arms were folded across his chest. Of course all this inaction gave birth to one particular question.

_"Why do they like 'im?"_ Minami wondered aloud.

_"Because he's fucking good looking!"_ Kuma and Ucchi whispered in unison. Their eyes welled up with tears of admiration.

_"And he's sooo coool!"_, Kuma added with a slight blush. Ucchi nodded with a matching tinge on his cheeks.

_"__Stop that! What are you... in love with him?"_ said Minami kicking their shins as if to get them out of a trance. Of course, this was not the case. The two boys just admired him. That their admiration bordered in awe was an understatement.

Now, their shuffling and kicking motions attracted the attention of Shin who glanced at them wondering what the commotion was all about. Feeling themselves being watched, the four boys looked up only to meet Shin's open stare. They quickly averted their eyes.

_"Oh, that can't be good."_ Shin grumbled.

-o-

Now rumors, by definition, are unverified reports of uncertain origin. It is this unsubstantiation that feeds speculations, and through the sheer force of word of mouth they gain the semblance of facts.

"Yamaguchi, so is it true?" Fujiyama moved her chair towards Yamaguchi's desk in the teachers' office.

"Is what true?" Kumiko was still reeling over the boys' revelation and had not noticed the busty teacher approaching her.

"Sawada."

"What about Sawada?" The bespectacled teacher looked puzzled.

"You don't have to pretend! I was looking for you so I went to the rooftop and overheard the boys talking..." She said meaningfully. She leaned in and darted her eyes about before whispering, _"Is Sawada gay?"_

"What are you talking about?" Yamaguchi-sensei asked not wanting to _out _Sawada until he was ready to _out_ himself. Besides Sawada wasn't gay. He just couldn't be gay.

"It's always the good-looking ones that are gay" Fujiyama-sensei ignored Yamaguchi-sensei's question and continued her train of thought.

"Ah, I knew there was something wrong with the boy." Iwamoto-sensei piped in fixing the inserts of his sneakers only to end up sniffing his fingers.

"Who are we talking about?" Hatta-sensei, who'd come in late, asked.

"That Sawada kid." Kouda-sensei replied.

"What's wrong with Sawada-kun?" Principal Kouchou asked concerned.

"He's gay." Vice-Principal Kyoto said with a self-satisfied grin on his face. It was the kind of grin that bragged about being in the know-how of everything that went on in the teacher's office.

"Hold on one darn minute. Nobody said he is gay!" Yamaguchi-sensei needed to stop this rumor.

But as with any piece of juicy rumor, everyone only heard what they wanted to hear. Yamaguchi-sensei's protest fell on deaf ears.

"I betcha he's with one of those four boys he's always hanging around with." Another teacher said.

"Frankly, I don't believe it for a minute" Kouda-sensei concluded.

In the back corner, Miura-sensei was enjoying this new development. For a second he toyed with the idea of luring the scared little bunny. He'd have to be _vewy vewy _quiet to hunt this _wittle wabbit_. After all, he didn't want to scare him...

The thoughts of accidentally scaring Shin Sawada prompted visions of Sawada's lovely face infected with whatever that Inuzuka kid had. He flinched at the catfish whiskers on that smooth face. He nixed the plan. He let his head slump in defeat and concluded, _'It's too bad he turns ugly when he's scared'_

"**STOP!**" Everyone froze. "Don't you guys have anything better to do than to speculate on a student's sexual orientation?" Kumiko frowned at the lot in disapproval.

"Nope."

"Not at the moment."

"Lesson plan's all done."

Kumiko's left eye twitched at their lack of shame.

-o-

Of course, rumors —whether based on truth, half-truths or utter lies— tend to have a life of their own, spreading like wildfire.

This is how the following day Shirokin's student body greeted Sawada politely with grinning faces. Sawada, being popular, didn't become aware of the added attention. That is until one of the Shirokin boys tried to pinch his bottom. After that, Sawada moved warily around the school.

He had an inkling that his friends had something to do with it. Evidence to that was the respectful distance they kept away from him. So, he tried approaching his 4 friends who in turn scurried away like roaches suddenly exposed to light.

Eventually, Shin had found out that a rumor was going around about him being gay. It had been bad enough fending off Miura-sensei when he was after his ass (literally) but this rumor will have him fending off a few of his schoolmates. He just hoped they were not as... _persistent_ as Miura-sensei.

Once the proverbial 'cat was out of the bag', the 4 boys confessed the incident that may have triggered the rumor. Shin realized that was the time he saw a slightly disturbed Fujiyama-sensei while on his way to the roof. He figured she must have overheard the conversation and that is how the rumor was spread. It didn't matter.

The odd thing, and the one he didn't understand, was how he had managed to ingratiate himself to the entire student body now that they thought he was gay. Of course, the reason was obvious to the 4 friends who explained that now that he was out of the running it gave the others better odds in attracting the opposite sex. Though the few that weren't interested in the opposite sex were just happy to add him to _their team_.

"Aaaargh!" Shin left frustrated. He needed to be by himself.

"So what are we gonna do?" Kuma said as he watched the red-haired one leave.

"We need to build Shin's reputation as a ladies' man" Ucchi waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"And how do you propose _we_ do that?" Ucchi paced around the room. Three pairs of eyes followed him.

"We can have some girls follow him."

"Girls follow him all the time!"

"Yeah, the problem is he doesn't pay _any_ attention to them."

"We can ask one of the girls to _pretend_ they went on a date with him."

"And how is that going to help?"

"It builds up his street cred. as a ladies' man."

"Won't it be suspicious?"

"Yeah, he didn't pay attention to any of these girls before and all of a sudden one of them will claim he's gone out with them."

"That's right! People might start saying she's just a beard."

"Nah, it'll just make 'im look like a player." Ucchi said as he dialed the number of one of Shin's very persistent fangirls. The three boys resigned themselves to listen to the one-sided conversation wondering if this had 'disaster' written all over it.

"Hi, Nao! This is Ucchi."

"Whadda ya mean Ucchi who?! Shin's friend."

"Yeah, thought you might say that." He said slightly irritated.

"Ah, you heard the rumors." He gave the three guys knowing looks. "Well, about that..."

"No."

"No." He rolled his eyes impatiently. "It's not true!"

"Geez, woman! Could you keep the squeals to a minimum?" He took the receiver away from his ears until the squeals subsided.

"Yes."

"I've got a proposition for you..."

The boys patiently waited until Ucchi finished explaining the plan to Nao who (not surprisingly) readily agreed to it. She'd arrive during the last period and wait for them at the gate. With that, Ucchi hanged up his cell phone, a self-satisfied grin upon his face.

"You know this could backfire and cement the rumors of Shin being gay." Noda pointed out as soon as Ucchi started grinning.

"Ah, you worry too much." Ucchi said waving a hand at them.

-o-

_Meanwhile..._

Shin was wandering around the school grounds. He needed to calm himself down. O.K. so the entire school thought he was gay. He wasn't one to worry about what other people thought. The trouble was having to turn down the odd number of guys now interested in him. He thought having a group of fangirls watching his every move was annoying. He shuddered at the thought of a group of supposedly delinquent gay schoolmates as his... _fanboys_.

He was surprised to find out there were that many gays in Shirokin. Though he knew the count may be skewed as he may have counted more than once the few very smitten boys that were now following his every move.

Then a sudden thought struck him. Ucchi would try to come up with some lame-brained idea to _fix_ this. Giving a wry smile to one of his new _admirers_, he turned around and hasten his steps to find his 4 idiot-friends.

He found them where he had last left them. Currently Ucchi was waving his hand at the other 3 while he allayed their worries about something. This confirmed his worst fears and he quickly asked, " What are you planning?"

The 4 boys looked at him dumbly. Although Ucchi —who always had a quick recovery time when rendered aphonic and being deliberately obtuse— replied, "Who's planning anything?"

Sawada fixed a stern look on Ucchi. He could force his friends to spill it but by the look on their faces it seemed as if he'd arrived too late to stop their plan. _'I will just have to deal with the aftermath.'_ He thought warily.

-o-

Now, the funny thing about rumors is their tendency to spin out of control as if having a life of their own, leaving a trail of battered reputations in their wake...

So, the following hours saw Sawada receiving love letters left conspicuously in his locker. It seemed every time he went to his locker he'd find a love letter which caused him to dread opening it. Now, at the sight of each cologne drenched love letter he'd show Kumai who was consistently beside him.

This is how the rumor of Shin being gay snowballed into Kumai being Shin's lover. This particular rumor sparked the courage of one of Shirokin's delinquent gay students who admired the _gentle bear_ from afar.

One lone, blue, cologne-drenched letter was found by Kumai Teruo. The confession was just an act of courage, the confessor explained, as he had no intention of coming between him and Shin. Poor Kumai was peeved. He had never received a love letter before and now that he had, his very first one, it happened to be from a guy. Of course, this earned him constant ribbing from Noda, Ucchi and Minami.

Shin had his own problems. He thought that this new development would have decreased the number of fangirls after him. In reality it seemed to have quadrupled them. As if that wasn't bad enough he now had to add the _fanguys_ though at least the number of guys was small.

So far, he had gotten three anonymous love letters. The fourth one had been signed. At the sight of this one, Shin glared at Ucchi who smiled sheepishly at him. This did not go unnoticed by the Shirokin student body. By the time the sixth signed love letter found Shin, an unforeseen and even bizarre twist had been added to the snowballing rumor: Shin was cheating on Kumai with Ucchi. Shin's glares directed towards Ucchi at receiving the last three love letters fueled the rumors of this supposed affair. According to the rumormill, it explained the two boys' adulation for Shin. This new twist didn't sit well with Ucchi...

"It was fine when people thought Shin was gay. He can recover from that." Ucchi paced madly around the rooftop. "And it was all fun and games when people thought Kuma was gay." Ucchi stopped his manic pacing and with an open palm gestured towards Kuma. "But **now **they think **I** am gay." He threaded all ten fingers through his hair in exasperation.

"Why are ya so upset? It's not like it's true"

Ucchi ignored Noda. He knew he was not good-looking and now people were saying he was gay. _"At this rate, I'll never get a girlfriend."_ Ucchi grumbled to himself.

"Pfft. At least you didn't get a love letter from a guy." Kuma tried to encourage Ucchi.

Ucchi had forgotten about this little piece of information. The realization bothered him a bit. Noda, who had noticed his friend's displeasure, ventured to ask a question.

"Um... you're not g-"

"Of course not!" A horrified Ucchi interrupted Noda before he had a chance to finish the question.

"Then what's the fucking problem!"

Ucchi fidgeted and let his eyes drift towards the floor. "Well, it would have been nice to be asked." Ucchi said with a pout on his lips.

"You've gotta be kidding me." Minami said in disbelief.

"Hey, Shin got 6 letters... and even Kuma got one!" Ucchi flailed his arms about as he resumed pacing. "KUMA!" The three boys followed him with their gaze.

"Maybe you're just too ugly" Noda offered.

"Uglier than Kuma?" Kuma was surprisingly undaunted by Ucchi's remarks as he gleefully munched on a bun. Noda and Minami studied Kuma and Ucchi. It was a close call, they concluded, so they shrugged.

Slightly wounded by their uncertainty, he said, "But he's a fatso!" Ucchi could not believe that he was neck in neck in the looks department with his incessantly eating friend.

"Yeah, but he is nice and quiet most of the time." Minami countered in defense of their portly friend.

"Girls like that in a guy" Noda said in agreement with Minami.

"Apparently guys like that also" Minami snorted and Noda followed suit. Ucchi was about to lunge for Minami when Kuma interrupted.

"Nah, I think it's 'coz you're the home wrecker." Kuma said thoughtfully wiping his bun holding hand on his school shirt. The three boys instantly stopped on their tracks at Kuma's statement.

"What're ya talkin' 'bout?" Noda was puzzled.

"Doncha see?" Minami glanced between Ucchi and Noda. "Ucchi got between Shin and Kuma." Kuma nodded in mute agreement.

"Ah, I see. He's the mistress!" Noda said excitedly at the sudden realization. Of course, after that statement, it was their duty to tease Ucchi.

"Aaaaarrgghh!" Ucchi said frustrated as he stormed out of the rooftop passing by Sawada, who had just recently arrived, without so much as a hello.

Sawada stopped and looked at him out of the corner of his eyes before continuing the steady trek towards his other three friends.

_"What's wrong with him?"_ Sawada mumbled.

"He don't wanna be the mistress." Minami explained.

Shin shook his head in resigned frustration. He _really _didn't want to know what that meant, so he went to lie down in the corner of the rooftop furthest away from his three friends.

-o-

After storming out of the rooftop, Ucchi tried to forget about the rumors by calling the girl he had met at the market. Not many girls were willing to go out with him so he was looking forward to their _date _on Friday.

_'I only need to find one more guy willing to entertain her 4th friend.'_ He thought as the phone rang.

Unfortunately, the girl had heard the rumors. After a curt greeting and an awkward exchange of pleasantries, she asked "Are you gay?"

"Eh? Um... No. Of course not!" He stammered which didn't help make his statement any more believable.

"I've heard rumors..." She countered.

"Lies, all lies!" Ucchi raised his voice slightly trying to compensate for the previous hesitation. A long uncomfortable silence ensued.

Now Ucchi may not understand many things but there was one thing he knew for sure: the date or outing or whatever the hell it was, was cancelled.

"Um, about Friday..." She hesitated.

_'And here it comes.'_ He almost stopped her with an 'I'm looking forward to our date on Friday' hoping she'd be too polite to cancel it but that sounded too pathetic. So, he waited.

"I don't think we'll be able to make it."

_"O.K."_ He mumbled. "Maybe... some other time?" He asked hopeful.

"Ah... I'll have to check with my friends."

_'And there it was.'_ He thought in self-deprecation.

"Sure, sure. Check and let me know." He didn't wait for her to hang up before he did the honors. He leaned against the side of the building and slid down to the floor. His head slumped forward while his elbows rested on his knees. He sighed in resignation. This is how his three friends found him.

"Hey, shithead! 'Twas just a joke" Minami prodded him with the tip of his shoe.

"I know, I know" He lifted his head and looked at his friends. "Where's Shin?"

"At the rooftop, where else? He's taking his time coming over."

Ucchi stood up and dusted himself.

"You shouldn't worry so much. It'll blow over." Kuma assured him.

"Yeah until then no girl will want to go out with me." Ucchi paused and then added "or you, Kuma, for that matter."

"Well, it's not like you were getting any girls anyway." Ucchi chose to ignore that.

"Shin-chan is the only one that can be outed and still have a bunch of girls after him." Kuma replied. They all nodded in agreement.

"OK. So we need to do something to change this." He clasped his hands with a renewed sense of purpose.

At this precise moment, Shin-chan approached the boys. Hearing Ucchi trying to come up with a plan caused him to hasten his steps. As soon as he reached them, before they could register his presence, he said, "Whatever you're planning... DON'T!" This startled the four boys until they saw Shin walking towards the school gate without another word. Shin didn't ask them to play hooky with him. For that matter, he rarely asked them to do anything with him. He just did, and somehow (whether he wanted them to or not) they followed. This time was no different as the 4 boys followed the red-headed one towards the school gate.

In the distance they could hear Yankumi urging them to attend their last class of the day...

_"WhAT tHe HEll arE yOu GuYS doINg HeRE? DoncHA haVe a CLasS tO go To?"_

...in her ever so subtle way.

As Yankumi walked towards them, a young woman who had been waiting outside the gates of Shirokin Gakuen waved at them, or more precisely at the red-headed guy.

"Oi, Sawada-kun!" The girl squealed delighted. The red-headed guy abruptly stopped walking at the sight of Nao. He stood there with a slight slouch, his hands deep in his pockets. The girl ran over to Sawada who tried to avoid her without much success.

Slipping her arms around Sawada's right arm she said in a throaty voice, "I've been waiting for you. I had a wonderful time last night."

Sawada scowled at her but the girl didn't budge. Sawada looked at Ucchi who hid behind the other three boys.

"You know young lady..." Yankumi tapped the girl on the shoulder. The girl looked at the woman without letting go of Sawada. "The guys still need to go to their last class. You can wait outside the gate but I'd suggest you go back home" She looked at the girl with an almost predatory grin while her eyes grew chilled in open challenge. After all, she needed to protect her students' innocence (or so she told herself).

Now, the look on Yankumi's face was new to the five boys. It was scary on a different level than what they'd seen before. This was the reason why Ucchi muttered something to Nao which only she could hear. Nao, grudgingly, unhooked her arms from around Sawada's right arm and (with a huff and a pout) she left.

Once she was gone, Sawada directed his attention towards Ucchi.

"What're ya tryin' t'do, Ucchi?" Sawada asked accusingly.

"Why d'ya always assume it's me?" Sawada half snorted, half scowled at Ucchi's question.

"We're trying to squash the lies that have been running around." Noda answered for his overly-enthusiastic friend.

"So, you mean he's really not gay?" Yankumi interrupted slightly confused.

"Baka." It was Shin's only response.

"Of course not!" Shin's four friends said.

"Hmm..." Yamaguchi approached the red-headed one still unconvinced. She had spent the best part of the day coming to terms with Shin's gayness and now they were saying he wasn't. She had to see for herself. She leaned into him. Her face merely inches away from him as she studied him. Her gaze methodically combed his features inch by_ dewy _inch, as if _gay _was a mole that could be seen with the naked-eye. The proximity was ruffling the impassive demeanor of the red-headed one as breaths mingled into one. His breath hitched. He backed his head an inch to increase the distance between the two and consciously made an effort to keep his gaze fixed on her eyes. She cupped his chin and moved his face to the right... then the left... in careful examination. Shin, surprisingly, did not protest mostly because he was spending **all** his energy in maintaining his signature bored exterior with little success.

The four boys couldn't believe what they were seeing.

Yankumi being... well... Yankumi was oblivious to his discomfort. After several minutes of mingling breaths and careful analytical touches, she was satisfied. He wasn't gay. Somewhere deep inside she was glad though she wasn't quite sure why. She took a step back and smiled as she said, "You guys better go to your class before I make you run laps around the school." With that, she left.

Shin, still affected by her earlier proximity, could only watch her retreating form as it ambled towards the teachers' office. Though there was a second there were he almost followed her like a puppy... a damn puppy. _'Stupid hormones.'_ He really wanted this day to be over.

"Tch." He said and like an obedient pup he walked towards his last class followed close behind by four confused boys.

His walk was subdued by thoughts of Yamaguchi unabashedly invading his personal space. Each replay threatening to make him lose all semblance of control. With a ragged intake of breath followed by a slow controlled exhale, he sought to calm himself.

_'Oh, the things she does to me'._

This thought was quickly followed by a scowl as a self-reprimand.

* * *

_**A/N1**_: I know, I know... anyone that has read a manga should now these  
_1_._kuma_ - bear  
_2_._nani _- what  
_3_._baka _- stupid or fool  
_4.__gakuen_ - school  
_5.kouchou_- principal (yeah, I am aware it means principal so in essence I am saying principal principal. I admit I did the minimum to find the principal's name. As soon as I find it I will change it. For now it is a place holder.) 


	3. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

_A/N_: Written because manga Minami needs a story of his own. Dedicated to those who reviewed or pm-ed me that they were awaiting a new chapter. Thank you.

_Warning_: Remember my stories are strongly manga based (until chapter 10.1)

Disclaimer: Gokusen isn't mine but this story is.

* * *

_**Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus**_

It was John Gray who coined the sentence "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". For all this talk about the differences between men and women, it is surprising to see men (as well as women) _planning trips to such inhospitable planets_. Blame it on the gravitational pull each body exerts on the other, on Mars eagerness to crash into Venus' orbit, or Venus' willingness to conform to the other... Ah, but I'm mixing my analogies here!

The point is that no matter how much we fail to understand the opposite sex, we (men and women) still seek each other.

_At the school rooftop..._

"Look, ya guys! There she is again." Minami motioned to his three friends to come over.

"Who d'ya think she is?" Noda asked.

"I don't know but she's a looker." Minami said eying the young woman dreamily.

"I wonder who she's waiting for." Kuma said.

Shin approached his four friends who at this particular time seemed to be engrossed watching... well, he didn't know what they were watching...

"Hey guys!" Shin was uncharacteristically ignored by the four.

He followed their gaze, for a brief moment, to a lovely young girl waiting by the school gate. Setting his eyes back on them, he sighed inwardly.

He should have known that his friends' diffused attention could only be focused by (aside from, possibly, the world coming to an end) a woman. Though he wondered where would their attention be focused if the world were coming to an end and a pretty girl passed by them. Would they forget about their doomed fate and try to see who could get a date from her?

He looked at them on the sly and rolled his eyes. They would most definitely spend their last dying breath trying to get that one last date.

_"Carpe diem!"_ Shin muttered sarcastically.

"Hn." One of the four finally said in acknowledgement of Shin's arrival to the rooftop.

"That's Asami-san, Tsuruta's younger sister." Shin said as he sat down on one of the two benches of the rooftop.

Kuma mumbled something in response.

Now, Shin's practiced ear was trained to understand Kuma's mumblings when he had food in his mouth much like a dentist could understand you even though he injected you full of novocaine, shoved gauze into your (now numb) mouth, asked you to keep your mouth nice and wide while sticking three fingers and a drill in it. Yep, Shin's ability to understand Kuma while he had his mouth full was as close to a skill as it could get. However, Kuma mumbled out of shock. And this kind of mumbling was incomprehensible even to Shin.

"Huh?" Shin asked puzzled. He looked at his friend only to be met by four pairs of eyes which were blinking nonstop as if their brains were trying to reboot to expunge the corrupted data that had just being received.

Ucchi, with his propensity for opening his mouth before thinking things through, was the first one to recover from the shock

"Tsuruta's sister?" He asked while he (and the other three) slowly set their eyes back on the lovely young girl still waiting by the school gate.

"Uh-huh", was Shin's bored reply. Thereby a full minute of silence fell on the rooftop of Shiroken Gakuen.

Surely, Shin-chan must be mistaken. Then again, we were talking about Shin-chan here. And it was this particular thought that nudged Kuma into breaking the silence as he rephrased the intend behind Ucchi's previous question.

"You sure about that?" Kuma tilted his head as if the different angle would show the hidden family resemblance. Shin-chan did not answer. He lay down on the bench, his arms folded behind his head, waiting for the bell to ring to indicate the end of the school day.

"Maybe she's adopted." Noda retorted, still blinking. "She don't look like Tsuruta AT ALL!"

_"Thank God for that."_ Minami said under his breath, his gaze never wavering from the young woman. _"Though it's gonna be hard to approach her knowing Tsuruta is her brother." _

Noda eyed Minami curiously and said, "Oi, you thinkin' of goin' after her?"

Ucchi, seeing Minami's apprehension, said "Don't worry. I'm gonna help you with that." Ucchi's mind was in planning mode.

Shin carefully opened one eye at Ucchi's offer.

"Well, I was thinking-"

_"Always a worry."_ Shin grumbled under his breath. Kuma, being the one standing nearest the prone form of his too-cool-friend, was the only one who heard him.

Ucchi cleared his throat to try to gain Kuma's attention before he continued, "First thing you need to do is talk to her."

"But Tsuruta-" Minami was about to protest when Ucchi raised a palm to shush him.

"There's no problem with Tsuruta. You know that he's as tame as a kitten now." Ucchi explained.

Minami wasn't that convinced, and frankly neither were the other two.

"We're talking about his sister here!" Noda said.

"Uh-huh. You may be able to poke him all you want now and he will quietly take it... but his sister..." Kuma's grimace acted as the end of that sentence. It was Minami who vaguely expanded on Kuma's unfinished thought.

"That's just another story all together."

"I'm surprised at you, Minami." Ucchi said appalled. "Are your intentions less than honorable?" He furrowed his brows in disapproval.

"N-n-n-no, of course not." Minami said more surprised at Ucchi's use of the words 'intentions' and 'honorable' than at the actual question itself.

Ucchi's mood suddenly changed, in true bipolar fashion, to a full blown grin.

"Then, there's no problem. You go talk to her then-"

But the skeptical looks on his friends' eyes stopped his train of thought, making the grin falter until it died.

Ucchi, in a moment of uncharacteristic insight, said, "You guys have no faith in my genuis." Slightly dejected, he added "Have I ever steered you wrong?"

The three boys exchanged incredulous looks before cocking an eyebrow then looking back at their friend. Shin couldn't help but smirk at his friends' reaction.

"Weeell..." Ucchi adopted a defiant stance, hands behind his back, eyes intently on them.

"I'll prove it to ya."

And as if having been slapped square in the face, Shin's smirk faded. He sat up abruptly.

Ucchi continued his train of thought. "If you're so worried about Tsuruta, we can just keep an eye out for him and if he comes we'll give you a signal."

Waggling his eyebrows, he said "Eh? Eh? Whaddaya think? Whaddaya think?" A self-satisfied grin graced his face as he continued, "This one is fool proof!" He stretched his hands in front of his face, figuratively admiring said plan.

Three pairs of eyes looked at Shin followed close behind by a fourth pair.

He really couldn't say that it was such a bad idea. It wasn't like Minami was trying to take advantage of Tsuruta's sister. And though it was true that Tsuruta had mellowed out a bit, Shin was not too sure about how mellow Tsuruta would be where his sister was concerned. Thus, keeping a respectful distance from him when approaching his sister was wise.

If Ucchi wanted to try to get those two together then so be it.

He looked at his friends. Three boys waited expectantly on his every sigh while Ucchi's eyes silently pled for Shin's approval.

Shin couldn't believe what he was about to do. Letting a groan escape his lips, he shrugged.

"You guys do what you want." He waved a hand at them dismissively.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement but that was as good a go ahead as they were going to get from the red-headed one.

"So, what's the signal?"

Ucchi thought for five seconds before saying, "Coo-Coo-Kachoo".

"What kind of a signal is that?" Noda managed to ask before noticing Shin move.

"Aw shut up and just do what I say." Ucchi complained.

Shin had had enough of this particular conversation and unceremoniously stood up.

"I'm gone. Later." He said as he slung his schoolbag over his shoulder and put the other hand in his pant pocket.

"Fine, fine!" Kuma, half annoyed, quickly agreed with Ucchi's plan. He turned around and called out after the red-haired one. "Hold on Shin-chan! I'll come with." He said as he huffed and puffed towards his friend.

"Great!" Ucchi clasped his hands together before sprinting towards Shin and Kuma. "Wait for me!" He called out.

Minami had lagged behind. He was still watching the girl by the gate.

A smile bloomed on her lips as she saw her brother approaching.

Minami couldn't help but smile himself as he daydreamed of _possibilities_.

"C'mon lover boy!" Noda put a friendly arm around Minami's shoulder and guided him out of the rooftop to try to catch up with the other three.

-o-

Now the problem begins when trying to make that very first move.

This is where the whole 'Jimmy asked Timmy to ask John to ask Lucy, who is Mary's best friend, if Mary is interested in Jimmy'. Which turns to bartering as each try to get the other to admit it FIRST (in a like-like sort of way, of course). All because Mary instructed Lucy to tell John that she (Mary) is interested in Jimmy ONLY AFTER John admitted Jimmy is interested FIRST. And in a sick, twisted, God-must-be-laughing sort of way, Jimmy gave similar instructions to John. Definitely not the pinnacle of human evolution there but when you are still trying to understand social interactions, that is the best you can do to guard yourself.

Once you realize that you have to put yourself on the line of fire (so to speak) for any progress to be made, then the approach changes. On the shier ones, that first move is triggered (mostly) by a good amount of alcohol or by a series of encouraging shoves from well-meaning (if not sometimes misguided) friends.

_Two days after the plan was forged, at the end of the school day, several yards from the school front gate..._

"What are ya waiting for, Minami?" Noda gave him a little push.

"Don't know." Minami hesitated, looking from left to right as if at any moment Tsuruta would jump out from a bush.

"I'm telling ya Tsuruta's as sweet as honey. Don't worry so much." Ucchi pushed the reluctant Minami in the direction of the front gate. "I'll keep an eye out for him" Leaning towards Noda and Kuma, he whispers _"You guys make sure Minami talks to Asami-san."_ Directing his attention back to Minami, he grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

Noda and Kuma crouched down behind a bush to watch Minami and make sure he actually talked to the girl while Ucchi, a few yards away, acted as the lookout.

As Minami approached the young woman, he kept trying to come up with topics of conversation. The problem was that the only thing he could come up with was 'Hi'. He supposes it is a good place to start as any but then what?

What's your name?

He rehearsed while walking.

Nah... too forward.

He scratched the back of his head.

I've seen you around.

He stopped his approach for a second then rolled his eyes.

Nope, he'd sound like a stalker if he said that.

He resumed walking at a ridiculously slow pace.

Nice weather we're having.

He closed his eyes and shook his head from side to side.

Lame. Really, really lame.

He paused for another second.

What's a good looking girl like you doing 'round here?

He slapped his forehead, repeatedly, with the palms of his hands.

Ugh! Utterly cheesy, royally stupid and totally pathetic. Did he mention stupid? Yep. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

He kept on slapping his forehead as he resumed his approach to the school gate.

_...with Noda and Kuma_

_"He doesn't seem to be doing well at all."_ Noda whispered. He was referring to the fact that Minami had not stopped slapping his forehead once he reached the school gate and poor Asami-san had witnessed his self-assault. This, of course, caused her to try to surreptitiously edge away from Minami.

_"For the love of all that is sacred, why doesn't he stop slapping himself?!"_ Kuma whispered a bit aggravated.

As if having heard Kuma, Minami (thankfully) stopped but what followed was a series of stolen glances by a fidgetting Minami and an uneasy Asami-san who kept a nervous eye out for her brother.

_"Asami-san looks like she's about to bolt."_ Noda shifted positions.

_"Hey!"_ Kuma elbowed Noda to move to the side to give him more room behind the bush.

_"Geez, sorry!"_ Noda shifted positions again making the bush shake in the process. For a minute or two, both of them remained still, hoping that the shaking bush would not attract any attention. Once the bush's shaking subsided, they directed their attention back to Minami and the girl.

_"Hmm... What the hell are ya doin' Minami?! Talk to her!"_ Noda hissed under his breath.

_"D'ya think we should do something? We're supposed to make sure he talks to Asami-san."_ Kuma looked at them. _"He clearly ain't talking."_

_"And what are we gonna do? Throw rocks at him?"_ Noda asked sarcastically.

_"Don't be stupid. Not rocks... pebbles." _He picked up three small pebbles from the ground and was about to fling them at Minami when Noda stopped him.

_"What are you doing? You might hit Asami-san!" _Noda swatted the pebbles from Kuma's hand.

_"I don't think I can watch, Kuma."_ Noda turned around to face away from the scene, making the bush sway from side to side. _"Tell me when it's over... or at least when Minami does something other than look at the ground or stare at her from the corner of his eyes."_

A few silent minutes passed before Kuma gasped in surprise.

_"He's actually talking to her!"_ Kuma grabbed Noda by the arm and shook him to get his attention. _"Man, he's got balls."_ Noda turned around slowly to prevent from shaking the bush too much.

_"Yep,"_ Noda whispered shaking his head up and down as he looked at the two. He added as an afterthought, _"Tsuruta's gonna kill 'im"._

_"What did I tell ya? Fool proof, guys! Fool proof!"_ Ucchi said smugly as he put an arm on each of his friends' shoulders.

_"Hey, hold on a second. If you are here and we are here and Minami is there..."_ Noda paused and with a very confused expression on his face added, _"Who's keeping an eye out for Tsuruta?"_

The three boys looked at each other, panic slowly settling in. Of course, who should show up at this precise moment but none other than Tsuruta himself (coincidentally a few steps behind Shin) making their panic increase exponentially with each approaching step.

So, Ucchi jumped out of the bush like the proverbial headless chicken, flailing arms over his head as he tried to scream (at the top of his lungs) the agreed upon signal.

Of course, having been taken by surprise, it was understandable that he forgot what the signal was. All he could remember was that there were a lot of o's. So, there he was running in circles, his legs spread out like a monkey, arms flailing about while he screamed...

**"Ooga Booga! Ooga Booga! Ooga Booga!"**

Shin and Tsuruta stopped on their tracks at the sight before them, so did a few onlookers. Slightly concerned, they wondered what was Ucchi's problem.

A nearby bush shook and a chubby hand emerged from within the bush to slightly part its branches. Shin blanched. He just knew that the chubby hand had to belong to Kuma who, in hushed tones, said...

_"Psst... Psst... Coo-Coo-Kachoo... Coo-Coo-Kachoo"_ like the director in a damn school play trying to remind the students their forgotten lines.

Of course, Ucchi's 'Ooga Boogas' were so loud that he couldn't hear Kuma feeding him the correct signal so it was up to Noda to say it a bit louder while still keeping it hushed,

_"Coo-Coo-Kachoo!... Coo-Coo-Kachoo!"_

The forgotten signal was heard by Ucchi a bit too late, seeing as Tsuruta had grabbed him by the shoulders to stop his manic stampede. Ucchi silently cursed.

He smiled weakly and said "Coo-Coo-Kachoo?" in a last ditch attempt to warn Minami.

"Coo-Coo-Kachoo!" He repeated. His eyes darted from left to right not really knowing what else to do and really hoping that Tsuruta had not gone back to his old self.

Tsuruta released him, sending a wave of relief through Ucchi's body. Ucchi patted himself down as if trying to assess if he was all there and in working order. Within this self-assessment, he became vaguely aware of Tsuruta asking Shin a question.

"What's wrong with your friend?"

_"He's an idiot"_ Shin grumbled but Tsuruta didn't hear it.

"What?" Tsuruta asked slightly concerned.

"Nothing. He's fine... a bit on the weird side but fine." Shin grabbed Ucchi by the collar and shook him a little. "See?"

"If you say so, but I think he needs to go to the nurse's office." Tsuruta said a bit concerned but left him in Shin's hands (literally).

With Ucchi's collar still firmly clutched in one hand, Shin pinched the bridge of his nose with the other and sighed.

"Where's Minami?" He asked. Ucchi's hand, as well as two hands coming out of a nearby bush, pointed towards the gate.

Minami, having heard the commotion, had shyly stepped back (though not before Tsuruta saw him). Giving Minami a wary look, he started leaving with his sister. Asami-san had taken a few steps before she turned around and politely bid Minami good-bye.

-o-

Things get complicated once that first move is made (regardless of how successful or lame it turned out). The reason being that understanding the opposite sex is crucial at this point, specifically trying to decipher the subtle signs of attraction (if any) given by the opposite sex. And though this search for understanding has always been the source of many a conversation, men (and women) tend to seek advice on this particular subject matter from members of their own sex as if trying to decipher an ancient language or more to the point an encrypted message by the enemy. Of course, this leads to frustrating anecdotes and personal jokes with the advicee and adviser half drunk, cementing a quagmire of misinformation as to what the opposite sex is really saying. The blind leading the blind... some might say. It would be more pathetic if it wasn't so puzzling and comical.

Now, this decryption phenomenon has three basic stages -though at times they overlap- with alcohol and emotional state of mind adding sub-stages to the three basic ones (but we won't worry about those in this particular story).

Stage one: Overanalyzing the event.

_A few seconds after Asami-san waved good-bye..._

"Guys! Didcha see that?" Minami asked nervously, half-worried half-gleeful.

"Uh-huh" Three boys agreed while the red-haired one just watched them. This did not give Minami any indication of what his friends' thought. Was it a good thing? Was it a bad thing? What was it?

"Whaddaya guys think that meant?" Minami asked his friends hoping they would reassure him.

"Didcha see the way she moved her lips when she said good-bye?" asked Kuma trying to decipher what she meant.

"Yeah, and she lowered her eyes a little bit" said Ucchi analyzing every move.

"Yep." Minami started pacing around while he scratched his head. He was beginning to get nervous. "What does it mean?" Minami asked again.

"She was clutching her school bag pretty stiffly." Kuma recalled frowning.

"So, does it mean she likes me?" Minami was getting anxious by the minute.

"I don't know, earlier she was about to run away from him..." Noda added his two cents to the conversation.

"Yeah, but that's because Minami was being an idiot. Really? Who goes around slapping their forehead when they're about to talk to a girl?!" Kuma slapped the back of Minami's head.

Minami's mood lowered.

"And she had this nervous look on her face?" Noda added though Minami was still wondering if it was out of shyness or rejection.

"Yes, but does it mean she likes me?" He grabbed Noda by the shoulders and shook him.

"But let's not forget she stayed." Ucchi tried looking for the good in it.

"Maybe she only stayed because she was waiting for her brother." Yankumi, who had seen the whole 'Coo-Coo-Kachoo' incident (even before the Ooga Boogas started) asked though no one noticed it was her except for Shin.

Stage 2: Defending one's fragile ego by form of gross generalizations with a side of ignoring sensible advice

"Ah, but she did stop to wave at you." Ucchi completely ignored the previous statement.

"...and her hand was not totally open when she waved..." Noda did the best rendition of Asami-san shyly waving.

"There's no doubt about it. She's shy and she likes you." came Ucchi's quick (though mistaken) conclusion.

Really, Shin wanted to laugh. He would have too if Minami didn't have this goofy expression on his face. His thoughts were interrupted by a woman's voice.

"It looked more like a polite goodbye. You know? It's a sign of good manners." Four of the boys pondered for a few seconds while the red-haired one studied the teacher.

"Well, she did talk to me." Minami retorted watching longingly the path Asami-san had taken as if she had left an imprint in the air that only he could detect.

"Great! Everyone knows girls don't talk to you unless they like you." Ucchi explained.

Amidst 'oohs and aahs' coming from three boys, a soft snicker was heard.

Really it had taken all the strength Shin had to not laugh when he heard Minami's defense which is the reason why when he heard the soft snicker he thought it had come from him. One look to his left showed the source of the snicker had been Yamaguchi.

"What did she say?" She managed to suppress the laugh threatening to emerge.

"Hi. You're in my brother's class." Minami raised his voice high trying to imitate Asami-san's very feminine voice.

Yankumi thought he was kidding. Certainly, no one in their right mind would confuse someone being friendly and polite with actual interest. Her disbelief turned to mild amusement as she concluded that they really were still just children.

She looked at the five boys. Three of them were congratulating Minami while (on her right) Sawada was purposely ignoring the conversation.

"Ooh, she knew you were in Tsuruta's class!" Kuma said throughly convinced Asami-san like-liked his friend.

She shook her head as one would to a child saying the most curious thing.

"And what didcha say?" Noda asked.

"Yeeep." Minami's smile split from ear to ear.

"You mean, all that time and that's all you said?" Noda asked slightly irritated.

"Well, one has to ease into these conversations." Minami tried to explain himself.

"Good, good. You don't want to scare her off." Ucchi was pacing around. "Small victories are good victories." Ucchi grinned.

Shin rolled his eyes. Yankumi couldn't take it anymore. She headed home, doubled over, holding her stomach, trying to hold in her laughter like one tries to hold in one's vomit (and with as much -or as little- success). No one saw her leave, not even Sawada. The last thing she heard was Ucchi saying, "This is what you ought to do-", before she went out of earshot from her students.

-o-

Stage 3: Gross generalizations begets gross generalizations which begets ridiculous conclusions.

A week had passed since the "Coo-Coo-Kachoo" incident and the five boys were currently on the rooftop. Four of the boys sat on the floor, shooting the breeze, while one disinterested boy just lounged on the corner of the rooftop hoping to catch a nap before the following period.

"So, how goes it with Asami-san?" Noda elbowed Minami teasingly.

_"I think I'm her boyfriend."_ Minami whispered as he blushed from the revelation.

"All ready! Wow, you work fast!" Noda and Kuma congratulated Minami. Shin couldn't believe his ears.

"Aw c'mon! You can't just _think _you are. You either are or you aren't." The only reason why Shin brought it up was because he didn't want his friend deluding himself. "There's no in between on this one, Minami!" He narrowed his eyes at them. "How can you be in a relationship and not know?"

"That's right! You know how girls are! If she finds out that you're not sure, do you know what's gonna happen?!.You're gonna be in da doghouse before getting that first kiss." Kuma mused aloud.

"Well, let's think about it logically. What makes you think you're together?" Ucchi, ever the _problem-solver_ asked.

"I heard her talking to her friend and she was talking about me!" MInami leaned in as if he was telling a secret.

Shin shook his head from side to side. It really takes so little to give his friends hope, especially where the opposite sex was concerned. He sighed.

"Ooooh, that's good." Ucchi said, the other two boys nodded in agreement.

He knew he was going to regret it but he asked, "And?"

"Whaddaya mean 'and?'...?" Ucchi put an arm over Shin's shoulder. Shin scowled at the hand on his shoulder causing Ucchi to promptly remove said hand.

Not one to be deterred so easily, he added "Doncha see, Shin? She's talkin' to other girls 'bout 'im!"

"That means they're together?!" Shin knew he should not ask but a little voice in his head kept saying _'What the hell, you already jumped into this weird conversation, might as well stir the water.'_

"Of course!" Kuma was the one replying.

"Everyone knows girls don't talk to girls about some guy unless there is something going on." Noda added, eyebrows waggling suggestively.

His friends congratulated Minami on his first girlfriend... they think.

"At the very least, it's sending a clear signal that he-" Noda pointed at Minami who at this point was sporting a smug grin "-is off limits to anyone else."

Shin had to sit up at the absurdity of their logic. "Sounds like you're just hoping. You can't just wish until it's true." Condescendingly, he added "Person A needs to ask person B and person B needs to agree before they are in a relationship."

"Nobody said nothing about wishing. You have to understand the subtle way women talk. See? I understand women." Ucchi jabbed his chest with his thumb.

"You do." It was more of a question than a statement, with a whiff of sarcasm which was lost on Ucchi.

"Sure!" Ucchi said without a hint of a doubt.

"You just don't know these things 'cause you're not that good with women." Noda said remembering Shin's expression when he was on that date with _that _girl.

"What!?"

"That's right, Shin. That's why we try to help you with Yankumi." Ucchi added quickly.

"I really don't need your help."

"It's sad really when people are in obvious need but they don't accept help." Shin rolled his eyes and tried to ignore them. He was gonna strangle that little voice in his head once this conversation was over.

"Well, that's why we're here. We'll save him from himself!" Shin's eye was beginning to twitch.

"You know I can hear you." Shin said threateningly.

"Of course, you can! Nobody said you were deaf." Ucchi said surprised.

Shin slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand before letting it slowly slide down his face. He decided, for the sake of his sanity, he needed to leave, NOW.

As he was about to open the door, it opened to reveal Yamaguchi.

"Ohayo, Sawada!" She eyed him. Noticing his mood, she briefly eyed his friends before returning her gaze towards Sawada. "What's going on?"

With a last glance at his 4 friends, he muttered, _"You don't wanna know." _Without thinking, he placed one hand on the small of her back and the other one on her elbow to guide her out of the rooftop.

She let herself be led, not before she took one last glance at the four boys left on the rooftop.

The hand on the the small of Yankumi's back did not go unnoticed by the four but it was when Yankumi leaned into Shin-chan that a sepulchral silence descended on the rooftop. The four nonplussed boys watched as Yankumi whispered into Shin-chan's ear. Though only Kuma saw Shin-chan involuntarily shiver as Yankumi's lips got threateningly close to the sensitive cartilage that was his ear. Surprisingly enough, he had enough self-control to lean in and whisper a response to whatever she had whispered, leaving the four boys on the rooftop looking at each other as the door slowly closed behind the couple.

It was Kuma who finally broke the silence.

_"Hmm. Maybe he knows something and he's holding back on us."_ He whispered. The other three, mouths agape, nodded in agreement.

And there you have it, three stages to a whole lot of confusion.

* * *

_A/N_:

1) This chapter was inspired by real conversations I had with some male friends about the women they liked. Sad, I know. I won't go into details on it. Suffice it to say that they whined about what signal these women were giving them, disregarded my opinion because it wasn't what they wanted to hear, then made gross generalizations about what/how women think. Needless to say I spent most of the time trying not to laugh (though I did laugh... just a little... well... O.K., maybe a bit more than just a little).

2) I thought it was funny to have the count. You know? Three of them, two of the boys, four pairs of eyes... I hope it wasn't too confusing.

3) Carpe diem - Latin for 'Seize the day'.


End file.
